I think one of the things that knits families closer together are family traditions. We have many; some that we do every day (like reading together at night) and some that we carry out through the holidays. It's the holiday ones I am addressing today.
I often complain about putting our Christmas tree together. It is so time-consuming and hard on the hands; and don't even get me started on stringing the lights! Every year I say "Next year we are getting a pre-lit tree", but once our tree is up, I can't help but fall in love with it all over again. Due to my hubby's allergies, we have an artificial tree, but I have to say it is the most realistic-looking artificial tree I have ever seen. I spotted it in a Hechinger's hardware store when my husband and I had our first apartment 17 years ago. The store was right across the street from our apartment complex. While I was there one night looking for a gift for my husband, I saw that tree. It was so full and pretty, I just had to get it. Problem was, I was driving a Ford Escort at the time (the old, old ones) and the tree wouldn't fit on the roof, let alone the trunk. So, I drove home, walked across the street to the store, bought the tree and wheeled it home on one of their large, flatbed carts! Once there, I pushed it up the steps to the building and then pushed it down the stairs to our own apartment. (Yes, I did take the cart back across the street to the store.) "Way back then" they didn't have pre-lit Christmas trees and we had very little to put on it; just a couple of boxes of red and gold ornaments, white lights and baby's breath with an angel on the top. Our first "special" ornaments were put on the tree that year. One was a personalized bride and groom ornament made from dough. The other was a photo frame for our first Christmas together in which we put our photo. Every year since, I have added an ornament or two that symbolizes what significant changes came our way that year, or things we did together that year. The second year, we had added a dog to the family and had purchased our first home. So I bought an ornament that looked like our dog and another ornament that I painted to look like our house. The year we had our first baby, we added several ornaments to the tree since we bought her a first Christmas ornament and about three other people bought them for her too. When we went to Bolivia to live for two years, I acquired several ornaments that represented our time there as well as the culture. We also have ornaments from Paris, Germany, Switzerland, and Australia - all places we have traveled to during my husband's career. With each new baby came a new ornament. And even when they were very young, they started making their own ornaments to put on the tree. The first ones were made when my children were 4 years, 2 years, and 6 months old. I took them to a local ceramic shop and let them choose an ornament to paint and they painted them all by themselves. For my son, being too young to hold a paintbrush (he would probably have eaten it), I painted his feet and pressed them onto a plate with his name and the date since it would be his first Christmas. Those ornaments along with the many others, still hang on our tree.
One of our traditions is that the kids and I go to the craft store and choose one ornament to paint or decorate. Then we sit around the table and paint them together. Once dry, they go on the tree (name and date on back). Each child has their own "section" of the tree where they place their ornaments themselves. They lay claim to their own sections. And I still continue to add ornaments that signify events that took place each year.... our next new house, our new dogs, a little wheelbarrow with gardening items in it to signify all the hard work we did landscaping outside that year, etc.
And when we are done decorating our tree, I sit in awe of it. No, not because it is the most beautiful tree you will ever lay eyes on. I am sure there are some really beautiful designer trees out there and I could have one if I chose to decorate it that way. But I don't. When I look at our Christmas tree, it tells a story - the story of our family over the years. I even found an ornament with a broken arm and leg on it to signify my physical struggles over two holidays! This year, we started the summer tradition of cookouts around our new fire pit. We would roast hot dogs over the fire and make s'mores for dessert. It took some searching, but I managed to find a s'more ornament and a campfire ornament to recognize that new summer tradition.
The tree is chalk-fill of ornaments and I love it! And the kids enjoy it too because they can see how they have changed both in photo ornaments and their skill level in making their ornaments.
Our other tradition started when my first baby, Jessica, was just three weeks old. I had gotten a free stuffed snowman at a store and brought it home and thought it was bigger than she was. So I sat her on the floor with daddy's hand supporting her and took her photo next to the snowman to show the size comparison. It turned out to be something we do every year. The children love looking at the photos of themselves next to "Frosty" - how small they were next to him first and now how tall they are beside him.
We also have many other family traditions like opening one gift on Christmas Eve, something my father did with us when I was a youngster. Every year "Santa" would make a personal appearance at our house and give us a gift. I remember thinking how strange it was that daddy always missed Santa's visit for some reason. Then, one year, I noticed Santa's shoes looked just like daddy's shoes! Why was Santa wearing daddy's shoes? Now this is a tradition we do every year, though without the Santa suit. Our other traditions at the holiday are going to church, of course, and leaving cookies and milk for Santa and fruit and water in a bowl for the reindeer! Then the day after Christmas we make the long drive in the "old family truckster" to see our extended family in our hometowns.
Those traditions are the things I hope my children carry with them and look back on with fondness once they are all grown. And maybe they'll continue the traditions with their own families along with the ones they will create for themselves.
It is a hectic time of year, no doubt, and I won't deny that there are days when I want to pull my hair out if I have to drive around the lot even one more time to find any parking space or wait in one more line to pay for gifts or decorations; but when I come home to my family it all melts away when I get to spend that extra special time with them.
