The shock! The horror! The doom! How could I possibly expect them to give up even thirty minutes of their daily lives to help out around the house?! What kind of mother am I?! Other children, it has been brought to my attention by my eldest daughter, get paid to do chores. So why don't my children get paid too? Ah, it all comes down to the almighty dollar. Where's the love, I ask you?
I explained to my children that chores are part of pitching in and helping out as part of the family. We all have our part - even us parents. Nobody particularly enjoys chores. I mean, I would much rather be floating on a raft in a pool with a large, cool iced tea than pushing my Hoover and pulling weeds from the garden; who wouldn't? But things need to get done and we all need to take responsibility in doing our part. We all have some part in making the dirty laundry, the dust, the dirty dishes, etc., so we all take part in cleaning up.
At first, the kids loved to do chores. They were toddlers and helping out was fun. It was part of being "big" and doing "grown-up" things. That, unfortunately, didn't last long. Even toddlers know that making the messes is far more fun than cleaning them up. So, when that fad wore off, I had to come up with a way to get my kids interested in doing chores; An incentive that would make them want to do chores without having to pay them regularly. That's when the "room fairy" was born. The "room fairy" would visit every morning and look at each child's room. She would look for neatness, if the bed was made (age appropriately), if toys were picked up in the rest of the house, and she would give a star to the child who had the most items picked up and neatest bedroom that day. The child with the most stars at week's end got a little prize. (Dollar store prizes - sticker books, balls, etc.) Once in awhile, there would be a three-way tie and there would be a special dinner out to their favorite pizza place or a special movie rental or some other such prize.
The room fairy worked for a very long time... years in fact. I loved the room fairy. We were very good friends. With her help, my kids' rooms were kept relatively neat and their toys were picked up from the rest of the house.
But, within the past six months or so, the kids have kicked the room fairy to the curb. (The tooth fairy still flies in on occasion... maybe she pays better!) So, I have had to change strategy. When school ended and summer break started, we all kicked back the first week and just enjoyed not having to run anywhere, do any homework, or abide by a tight schedule. I work from home, so I was able to adjust my schedule to spend time with the kids.
As one week turned to two, however, I started to notice that I was picking up after the children more and more. And as the third week rolled around, I noticed that not only was I cleaning up after my own children, but all the neighborhood kids that flocked to our house as well. My children were becoming "beach bums" without the beach. Dirty clothes and wet towels on the floor, toys and laptops lying about, dirty dishes left wherever they had last been eaten from, sticky fingerprints on every surface, bikes and toys lying about in the driveway all made it apparent that it was time for action.
I quietly went to my office and made each child a chore chart. I hung their chart on their bedroom doors and then when their father got home, we held a family meeting explaining the new method of chores. There was a little protest at first, but I told them that it was up to them when they did the chores each day. The catch was there wouldn't be any tv or computer time until the chores were done. If chores were not done at all that day, then privileges could be taken away. We had the talk about how this would teach them responsibility, which I hope they heard. Knowing children though, it probably went into their heads more like blah, blah, blah, responsibility, blah, blah, teamwork, blah, blah, blah....
The most protesting, as you may imagine, came from my preteen. But my husband and I pointed out that we have our chores too and that their chores added up to a half hour or less a day. My middle child, Sarah, does great with this method. She is a true creature of habit. So she gets up, checks her chart, does her chores, and goes about her day. And Christopher does well with it too. The checklist actually helps keep him on track since he tends to get distracted so easily. Even Jessica has quit complaining and has realized she can breeze through her list pretty quickly. And just the fact that they were told they can decide when to do the chores each day made them feel in control of some part of the situation.
As for payment for chores, there is the occasional job that is "above and beyond" they get paid for, like helping clean out the basement or garage, washing the cars, etc. But for the most part, the kids do seem to be learning that chores, as boring as they are, are part of the teamwork of being a family. And as for the room fairy, she will remain a fond memory for me of their childhood.
