Christmas Spirit

For the past several weeks I have been frantically trying to clean the house, decorate inside and out, finish my Christmas shopping, wrap gifts, bake cookies.... wait, where was I?  Oh yes, losing my mind!  Let me know if you find it. 
 
In the meantime, I was getting more stressed out and starting to dread the big day - not as a celebration, but as a deadline. It was a deadline in which all the gifts had to be wrapped, the packing for traveling done, the big dinner prepared, and the shopping completed.  From under a mountain of rolls of wrapping paper, I realized I had to have everything done by December 25th and the day was speeding toward me like a freight train with no intention of stopping.  

But tonight, as we attended mass at our church, all the stress and anxiety melted away.  As I sat in church with my family at my side, the church decorated with lit trees and colorful poinsettias, I felt everything else slip away and was able to focus on the true meaning of the holiday.  Before mass began, I sat admiring the nativity scene and thought on a quiet night, thousands of years ago, a young mother was having a very special baby in a stable. Jesus was born.

The service continued with song and prayer and with each passing minute, I could feel the Christmas spirit flowing through me again.  I became at peace. I glanced  at my husband, smiled at my children, and realized that everything I need in the whole world was in that building right then and there.  I had God and my family.

On the way home in the car, even the children talked about how much they liked the priest that presided over the service and what a nice homily he delivered.  They marveled over the lights all over the Christmas trees and the huge star that hung over the manger. I told the children that it was in church that it started to feel like Christmas for me.  They, of course, said they have felt it all along since we started decorating right after Thanksgiving,  But then again, they weren't doing all the work!

This time of year really is a magical time of year.  At night everything falls quiet. I sit in the silence, which seems more profound on Christmas Eve, like the whole world is holding its breath anticipating the big event, the birth of our Lord.  And as I sit in silence, I really am reminded that it's not the presents or the decorations that make it Christmas.  For me, it is the time to reflect and be thankful for all the happy, healthy family I have, for good friends, and the faith we share that carries us through the difficult times.

My wish for you, my readers, is that you find that same sense of inner peace and appreciate the wonderful things that are already in your life and slow down a bit to savor each and every one.

Have a very merry Christmas and a blessed New Year! 

Family Traditions

I think one of the things that knits families closer together are family traditions.  We have many; some that we do every day (like reading together at night) and some that we carry out through the holidays.  It's the holiday ones I am addressing today. 

I often complain about putting our Christmas tree together.  It is so time-consuming and hard on the hands; and don't even get me started on stringing the lights!  Every year I say "Next year we are getting a pre-lit tree", but once our tree is up, I can't help but fall in love with it all over again. Due to my hubby's allergies, we have an artificial tree, but I have to say it is the most realistic-looking artificial tree I have ever seen.  I spotted it in a Hechinger's hardware store when my husband and I had our first apartment 17 years ago.  The store was right across the street from our apartment complex. While I was there one night looking for a gift for my husband, I saw that tree.  It was so full and pretty, I just had to get it.  Problem was, I was driving a Ford Escort at the time (the old, old ones) and the tree wouldn't fit on the roof, let alone the trunk.  So, I drove home, walked across the street to the store, bought the tree and wheeled it home on one of their large, flatbed carts!  Once there, I pushed it up the steps to the building and then pushed it down the stairs to our own apartment.  (Yes, I did take the cart back across the street to the store.) 

"Way back then" they didn't have pre-lit Christmas trees and we had very little to put on it; just a couple of boxes of red and gold ornaments, white lights and baby's breath with an angel on the top.  Our first "special" ornaments were put on the tree that year.  One was a personalized bride and groom ornament made from dough.  The other was a photo frame for our first Christmas together in which we put our photo.  Every year since, I have added an ornament or two that symbolizes what significant changes came our way that  year, or things we did together that year.  The second year, we had added a dog to the family and had purchased our first home.  So I bought an ornament that looked like our dog and another ornament that I painted to look like our house.  The year we had our first baby, we added several ornaments to the tree since we bought her a first Christmas ornament and about three other people bought them for her too.  When we went to Bolivia to live for two years, I acquired several ornaments that represented our time there as well as the culture.  We also have ornaments from Paris, Germany, Switzerland, and Australia - all places we have traveled to during my husband's career.  With each new baby came a new ornament.  And even when they were very young, they started making their own ornaments to put on the tree.  The first ones were made when my children were 4 years, 2 years, and 6 months old.  I took them to a local ceramic shop and let them choose an ornament to paint and they painted them all by themselves.  For my son, being too young to hold a paintbrush (he would probably have eaten it), I painted his feet and pressed them onto a plate with his name and the date since it would be his first Christmas.  Those ornaments along with the many others, still hang on our tree. 

One of our traditions is that the kids and I go to the craft store and choose one ornament to paint or decorate.  Then we sit around the table and paint them together.  Once dry, they go on the tree (name and date on back).  Each child has their own "section" of the tree where they place their ornaments themselves.  They lay claim to their own sections.  And I still continue to add ornaments that signify events that took place each year.... our next new house, our new dogs, a little wheelbarrow with gardening items in it to signify all the hard work we did landscaping outside that year, etc. 

And when we are done decorating our tree, I sit in awe of it.  No, not because it is the most beautiful tree you will ever lay eyes on.  I am sure there are some really beautiful designer trees out there and I could have one if I chose to decorate it that way.  But I don't.  When I look at our Christmas tree, it tells a story - the story of our family over the years.  I even found an ornament with a broken arm and leg on it to signify my physical struggles over two holidays!  This year, we started the summer tradition of cookouts around our new fire pit.  We would roast hot dogs over the fire and make s'mores for dessert.  It took some searching, but I managed to find a s'more ornament and a campfire ornament to recognize that new summer tradition.

The tree is chalk-fill of ornaments and I love it!  And the kids enjoy it too because they can see how they have changed both in photo ornaments and their skill level in making their ornaments.

Our other tradition started when my first baby, Jessica, was just three weeks old.  I had gotten a free stuffed snowman at a store and brought it home and thought it was bigger than she was.  So I sat her on the floor with daddy's hand supporting her and took her photo next to the snowman to show the size comparison.  It turned out to be something we do every year.  The children love looking at the photos of themselves next to "Frosty" - how small they were next to him first and now how tall they are beside him. 

We also have many other family traditions like opening one gift on Christmas Eve, something my father did with us when I was a youngster.  Every year "Santa" would make a personal appearance at our house and give us a gift.  I remember thinking how strange it was that daddy always missed Santa's visit for some reason.  Then, one year, I noticed Santa's shoes looked just like daddy's shoes!  Why was Santa wearing daddy's shoes?  Now this is a tradition we do every year, though without the Santa suit.  Our other traditions at the holiday are going to church, of course, and leaving cookies and milk for Santa and fruit and water in a bowl for the reindeer!  Then the day after Christmas we make the long drive in the "old family truckster" to see our extended family in our hometowns. 

Those traditions are the things I hope my children carry with them and look back on with fondness once they are all grown.  And maybe they'll continue the traditions with their own families along with the ones they will create for themselves.   

It is a hectic time of year, no doubt, and I won't deny that there are days when I want to pull my hair out if I have to drive around the lot even one more time to find any parking space or wait in one more line to pay for gifts or decorations; but when I come home to my family it all melts away when I get to spend that extra special time with them.

Official Mother of a Teenager

I can't believe it, but all of a sudden my first baby turned 13.  I am officially the mother of a teenager.  A teenager! Where did all the time go?  I look in the mirror at the roots that have grown back in my hair and they are gray!  How can that be?  I don't feel old enough to be going gray or have a teenage daughter.  But I am and I do.  Would I change anything though?  Not in a million years!

My daughter did a lot of debating over what she wanted her party to be like this year.  She said the roller skating rink was out - given my past history - even though I promised not to go near a pair of skates.  Then she thought maybe a party at the bowling alley, but ultimately decided on a slumber party with a group of her closest friends. 

I have to say, I really like having birthday parties out somewhere.  When you have a party at your house, you have all the food preparations, the baking, the chaos of other people's children running through your house and then, the mess to clean up after.  A party at a venue, on the other hand, is worry-free.  Other people set up, make the food, decorate, and clean up the mess afterward.  (Thus the concept of Chuck E. Cheese was born.  I have done no research, but I feel sure that the idea for that restaurant came after some parents' nervous breakdown after a party for kids in their own home!)  So, I was keeping my fingers crossed for the bowling allley - especially considering the fact that the party was just days before Thanksgiving.  But, she decided to have it at home and I went along with it.  Thankfully, she is not that all into decorations like crepe paper and balloons anymore.  But, you can't placate a group of 12- and 13-year-olds with games like pin the tail on the donkey.  So, we had to come up with a party activity and Jessica decided she wanted to tie-dye shirts with her friends.  Now keep in mind, we live in Virginia, so it is not warm enough to undertake this activity outdoors; especially when it is a sleepover and the party started at 6 p.m. after it was already dark.  Against my better judgment, I agreed and we went out and got the supplies.  To my surprise, it actually went well and there was very little mess.  A plastic table cloth covered the table and the dyes have come a long way since I oversaw the activity with girl scouts back in my college years.  Back then, there was vinegar involved, buckets of dye, letting shirts soak longer for darker colors, etc. etc. etc.  Now though, the dye companies have come a long way.  You simply mix the powder dye that is already in its own bottle with warm water and each child can wrap their shirt in rubber bands and then squeeze the dye onto the shirts section by section.  Very little mess was made and what there was wiped right off the party tablecloth. They all loved the activity and couldn't wait to see the results the next morning. 

The best part of the party for me, and I am sure I can speak for my daughter when I say it was the best part for her too, came when it was time to open gifts.  I was so excited about what we got her, I could hardly wait for present-opening time! 

My daughter has been begging for a cell phone for well over a year now.  I told her she really didn't need a cell phone and I didn't think she was old enough at 12 years of age to be responsible with it.  (In terms of loss, that is.)  She tried to make a case that she could call her friends, but I told her she could use our land line.  Then she said she could call to check in with me when they were out playing to see if it was time to come home or if she needed to ask me something.  I told her she could do that like we did in the "olden days" and use her little legs to walk the 50 yards between our house and those houses of her friends.  Behind the scenes though, as her birthday approached, my husband and I discussed the cell phone.  It was a nominal additional cost to the plan we already have, the phone was free with a two year renewal of our contract, and now she was turning 13 years old and was proving herself to be more responsible.  She earns straight A's in school and is very trustworthy.  So, we secretly ordered the phone for her birthday.... call it a right of passage for her move into "teendom".  Then I went out and bought the decoy present.  I wanted this moment to be big - one she would remember.

I was out shopping without her one day and bought a purse I thought she would like that suits her age along with an umbrella.  Her umbrella had recently broken, so I thought she might like to have a new one.  (I chuckle.)  When I got home, I charged her new cell phone in my bedroom with a pillow over it so she wouldn't see, set it all up, and then zippered it inside the front section of the purse.  I wrapped the purse-holding cell phone and umbrella in a shirt box.  My husband and I made a plan to call the phone after she opened the box and saw the purse and umbrella.  I couldn't wait for her to open it because I knew how thrilled she would be once she found her "real" gift. 

Finally the moment arrived.  With her friends gathered around her, she opened each gift and read each card.  Then she got to our gift and was sure it was clothes.  You could almost read the word disappointment on her face when she first opened the box.  But she played it well and said how nice it was and thanked us.  Brad had the video camera and I had the still camera to catch it all on film.  While she was looking at the umbrella with the purse still in the box, the purse started to ring - well sing, being that the ring tone sounded more like a song than a ring. 

It was hysterical watching the faces turn from disappointment to bewilderment to hopeful to sheer joy!  You could see it like a wave.  Her friend nearest her heard it first and kind of cocked her head, wondering if she was hearing something or not.  Then her other friend heard it and everyone started shushing everyone else.  When it was really quiet, Jessica heard it and started to search for the source of the noise.  She looked in the purse's main compartment and pulled out.... paper stuffing.  Then she looked in the zippered compartment and pulled out.... a cell phone!  You have never heard shrieks and squeals like the ones that hit the airwaves that day. Every dog in the neighborhood probably ended up with a migraine due to how high-pitched and loud they were!  She practically flew out of her seat to hug me and her father and seven teenagers were literally jumping up and down in the living room.  Even her friends hugged me and thanked me because they could finally call and text Jessica, who had been the last living girl in the county without a cell phone.

Immediately they started texting each other - though they were all sitting right there together, so I guess that's a generational gap that I will never understand, and entering each other's phone numbers and contacts.  I made it to #3 on her speed dial.  Number three?  I would think that the gift alone would have warranted me the top spot of #2!  (Number one dials voice mail.)  But alas, I came second on the list.  I would probably have been fifth if she could call her two dogs!  Thanks goodness they don't have cell phones!

The rest of the evening was work-free.  They all went off to the basement to text, chat, paint nails and slumber.  Turned out to be a pretty easy party after all, and a lot of fun. 

The best part though was her reaction to her gift.  That's why I enjoy gift giving so much; seeing the joy on the face of someone I love and care for.  That is something that is truly priceless.  And for a moment I forgot about my graying hair and aching bones and the number of my age (no, I won't tell) and just relished in the moment. 

Break a leg!

Break a leg.... I don't see how that expression is meant to mean good luck.  It sure isn't me.  Now that the holidays are upon us, it's time to break out the decorations, participate in family traditions, and celebrate the joy of the season.  Well, so far I am batting two out of three.  Well, I broke out the decorations, but also broke my ankle.  Like all our neighbors this weekend, we got out our decorations and took advantage of the nice weather to put up our outdoor lights.  Who knew it would turn out to be an extreme sport?  After trimming our Carolina Sapphire pine tree to dress it up for Christmas, I strung the lights on.  As luck would have it this year, all four sets actually lit on the first try.  With the added glee from not having to find the bad bulb in a string of 400 lights, I then moved on to the lawn ornaments.  This year I finally bought the two lit wicker reindeer and one lit wicker snowman that we have been wanting for a long time.  I couldn't wait to get them up.  Unpacking them was a feat in itself, but after unpacking and assembling the first one, I thought I had it figured out and moved on to the next.  After a little struggle with the legs on that deer, I finally got it staked into the ground.  Everyting was coming together nicely.

As daylight dwindled, I called my hubby up from his project in the basement to help with coordinating all the extension cords, timer, and circuits.  Everything was fine until I went to clean up the boxes, scissors, and cable ties from the front yard.  While simply walking, just walking - with one foot in front of the other - I somehow mis-stepped and twisted my ankle outward so hard that I heard a crack and went tumbling to the ground.  My foot had turned under, spinning me around backwards and landing me flat on my back in the front yard.  Searing pain immediately coursed through my ankle.  My husband, having also heard the crack in my bone from his position on the front stoop, rushed to my side and I told him I thought my ankle was broken.  After he helped me up and got me to the sidewalk, I tried walking on it but quickly discovered that was not going to happen.  I had been hoping that it was just a bad sprain, but when I couldn't walk on it and a large egg started to appear where my ankle bone used to be, we knew a trip to the ER was imminent. 

The neighborhood kids had witnessed my graceful sprawl to the ground and ran to tell their parents.  Thanks goodness for great neighbors, who immediately offered to take our children and watch them and feed them dinner while my husband and I made our way to the ER.  At the hospital, the nurse asked if I broke my ankle putting up Christmas lights... apparently she sees enough of this sort of accident during the holiday season to assume.  I told her yes, though she thought I fell from a ladder or rooftop trying to put lights on the house.  I was almost embarrassed to say that I was already on the ground and walking on a relatively flat surface when I did this.  I should have told her I was sky-diving that day and had a rough landing or fell from a tree after trying to rescue a kitten.  At least then I would have sounded adventurous or heroic instead of just clumsy!  I was even more embarrassed when the nurse remembered me from crushing both wrists last year.  (Even more embarrassing!) Several hours later, I returned home with painkillers and a large plaster splint around my leg from my toes almost to my knee. 

This accident, unfortunately seems to be part of our family traditions with me.  Every autumn for the past four years, I have managed to land myself in the hospital for one thing or another.  I have even made two birthday parties more interesting with injuries.  For 36 years I managed to walk the earth with nary a broken bone.  I guess it was bound to catch up with me.  But given the last four years, even my children are suggesting I wear bubble wrap as part of my every day ensemble!  Last year I crushed both wrists at my oldest daughter's birthday party.  It had been one month after having my cancerous thyroid removed, I decided it was time for a little fun to lighten my mood.  So for the first time in my life, I donned a pair of roller skates at the skating rink during Jessica's 12th birthday party.  All went well until it was time to eat.  I managed to exit the rink gracefully and was feeling quite proud of my accomplishment.  But as I walked on my skates across the carpet to the party area, one wheeled foot got ahead of me, sending me into a backward fall.  Being that I had had two back surgeries for a ruptured disc and pinched nerves, my first thought as I started to go down was to protect my back.  So, I threw my arms down to break my fall and immediately regretted the decision when I heard and felt them break. Maybe I should start skipping the holidays - or autumn in general for that matter. 

This latest tradition of broken bones and surgeries I can live without.  But, even in these difficult times, I will be able to look back and remember how I was able to come through those tough times and still manage to celebrate the season and give thanks to all the things we do have - not just material things, but a happy family, healthy children, and good friends.  The difficult moments will be a speck on the map of our family's history and they also remind me that I have an inner strength that I forget about sometimes.  It goes with my belief that everything does happen for a reason.  Sometimes we have to live through the bad to appreciate the good... an example I hope I am setting for my children by mustering up enough effort to keep things as normal as possible.

Now, before I start the celebrating can I add bubble wrap to my Christmas gifts wish list?  Or maybe a large hazard sign to warn others  approaching me that I am a walking disaster! I think they should be the new mainstay in my wardrobe!